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The nation's most emotionally significant department store has unveiled a wellness-infused jeans collection, prompting unprecedented scenes of bourgeois bewilderment and emergency grief counselling near the fitting rooms.
In a development that will surprise no one who has spent more than twenty minutes reading fashion show notes, London Fashion Week's AW25 season has produced a quiet consensus among designers: actual garments are over. 'Conceptual fabric adjacency' is in. Trousers are, apparently, a form of violence.
They lived fast, they died young, and they took approximately £200 of your disposable income with them. This month's TikTok fashion micro-trends have shuffled off their aesthetic coil at a rate that makes the average mayfly look like a tortoise. We gather here today to mark their passing — and to gently suggest that perhaps buying seventeen linen sets in a single calendar month is not, technically, a personality.
Bethany Kowalski of suburban Columbus, Ohio, has finally achieved the coveted 'I just threw this on' look — after 14 hours of research, two personal stylists, and a credit card bill that made her accountant physically ill. We sat down with the hollow-eyed survivor to hear her story.